My Verse

"Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20 Niv

As I’m sure you have noticed I haven’t been updating lately. I have just been having so much trouble. This morning though, God showed me a new lesson. It’s funny that you can look at the same verse over and over, and then one day…you learn something new about it.

Today God showed me something completely eye opening.

This was always my favorite verse because to me it meant that God would do great things with only a small amount of faith. This has always shown me the power that God has. He is magnificent and make something out of nothing. He is a God of anything!

Today though, I learned about God’s compassion for us. This verse reminds me that sometimes a miniscule amount of faith is all we have to give. God knows this about us. He knows that we will need this verse at times in our lives.

So even though my faith is in a waning stage, God has not forsaken me. God is still there for me. So today, yes I only have a tiny amount of faith. God will honor my tiny faith and grow it.

Be strong, be courageous and l have faith.

I’m Overwhelmed

Lately life’s fragility has surrounded me.  Is it possible to pray for all of them? Can it be? How can I really help them? Would God save them all?

Today I watched a video of a girl that will lose her life. She will lose her battle with CF. She only has a few days left. 

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed. Today is one of those days.

It’s like my heart is breaking off into little pieces. One for each of them. What do I do with this?

Part of me is so afraid. Afraid to put myself out there. Afraid to be a REAL friend to those who need me. I know that God has a reason he’s showing me all this. I know He has a reason that I am in their lives, and that I keep finding new people to bring in my life.

I know this in my head, but my heart is scared.

And lately, this fear has been paralyzing me, so to speak. I’m almost afraid to pray. What if He doesn’t answer in the way I want. What does that mean for my prayers?

Sometimes I even try to bargain with God. What if I were more faithful? What if I prayed every day for so and so? What if I prayed every hour?

What if it were just me praying, is that enough? What if it were 10,000 people? Does that make a difference? How does God choose?

What is He teaching me? And why is it so hard? Why is it so painful?

I know that this is nothing compared to those who are going through these things, and I’m sorry that I’m whining, but it’s too much to hold in. I have no answers, but I hope God teaches me something  tangible soon.

Prayer for the Little Ones - Jonah

From his blog:
On Feb 27th, 2009, we had Jonah, who was born with an extremely rare genetic skin disorder called Epidermolysis Bullosa. Jonah spent 32 scary days in the NICU, but is now at home! He has been diagnosed with Junctional EB, a very serious form of EB which CAN be fatal. The experts are fairly confident Jonah is non-Herlitz (less severe), although the biopsies were inconclusive. He faces a life of painful blisters, hair, nail, and major teeth issues, as well as the possibility of respiratory involvement. Jonah stays bandaged from the neck down. We suspect EB is the cause of Gabe's death. We know that no matter what happens with Jonah, God will be glorified. We can't wait to see Gabe in Heaven and can't wait for Jonah to meet his big brother a long, long, long time from now after he's old and gray and lived a long, full life. Please pray for a miracle for Jonah. We are.

My prayers for Jonah:
-Strength and encouragement for his mom; she seems to have hit a rough spot
-Help Jonah to eat solid foods
-Healing for Jonah