Who I am and who I will be?

I am critical, judgmental, and down right mean at times. I say things I wish I could take back, and some I don’t. I take things for granted. I lie no matter how hard I try, sometimes even to myself. I whine and complain and wonder at the fairness of it all. When I see the girl walking on the street in knee-high nylons and a short skirt, I think she is a freak or weird. I want to throw eggs at all the bad drivers around me. (Especially the ones that make a new lane in the break down lane.)

I have some redeeming qualities. I love my family and friends dearly. I would do almost anything for them. Starting in July I search and search for the perfect gift, the one they will truly want or need to receive. I look for ways to make a difference in the world, in other’s lives. Whenever I see people walking or waiting for a bus in the rain I want to stop and give them an umbrella. (I have actually bought some extras at the dollar store, someday they will actually make it into the car)

But, this is me. This is who I am!

I am unworthy. I am a sinner.

So what does this mean for my future. It means struggles, it means falling on my face only to be picked up by the God that loves me and forgives me. I have a God that knows me, knows my weaknesses and strengths, a God that sees me for who I truly am.

Does this mean that I am doomed?

No.

I have hope! God says that there will be no tears in heaven and there will be no death.

No tears and no death you say? No pain, no sickness? No mean comments and no lying? Well then where I am?

How can I still be me without the comments, without the eternal struggle. Will I still be me without all the ugly stuff?

This has puzzled me for years, and someday I will find out the answer. ..

Related Posts :